


Samhain's Fire

by chrobins



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Car Accidents, Ghosts, HAPPY ENDING DESPITE THE TAGS, Halloween, Happy Ending, M/M, description of death, there is no blood mentions I don't think but there is a graphic description of dying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 03:01:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5113691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrobins/pseuds/chrobins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Happy Halloween! THERE IS A HAPPY ENDING FOR THE LOVEBIRDS. I've been working on this fic for a long time, it probably has some continuity errors, and spelling and grammar issues, but I do hope you enjoy it!!! <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Samhain's Fire

It’s Kei’s first halloween in a new neighborhood; it’s just him, Akiteru, and his mother. The blonde doesn’t really mind it though; his father was never around to be a part of his family. Stepping out on the front porch, the leaves dyed with varied orange and yellow hues, fall knocking right on their doorstep, Kei finds the slightly cool breeze rejuvenating; it’s his favorite time of year. As he looks around, there’s no one in his cul de sac save for one teenager leaning against a tree with no leaves. He doesn’t recognize him, but then again, they just moved in a week ago. Maybe he was friends with Akiteru.

 

They meet gazes, and Kei felt a shiver run up his spine. But he passes it for just the cold air and waves to the teenager. The other male looks around, then back at the blonde, and smiles. “Kei!” Kei turns around at the sound of his name being called from inside. But right before he goes inside, he turns around again, but the messy-haired teenager was nowhere to be found

 

\-------

 

Kei is twelve years old this Halloween, and Akiteru, as usual, has matching costumes. With the celebration of the new Jurassic World movie that was about to come out, Akiteru had a dinosaur costume ready for his little brother. “Look, Kei, your costume is ready!” Kei padded over and took the material in his hands. He traced the seams, proud that his big brother could hand make such a cool costume. “And you can wear it to sleep once Halloween is over too.” Kei marveled at it, his golden eyes sparkling at the prospect of wearing it every day.

 

He ran up to Akiteru and hugged him, pressing his cheek against the warm fabric of his brother’s shirt. “Thank you, nii-san.” Kei said quietly before running upstairs to his room. He put on his warm pajamas and socks before slipping to costume over his head. Once Kei flipped the hood on his head, he really looked like a dinosaur! Kei couldn’t be happier; he couldn’t wait to wear it every day; it was so warm and cozy and perfect for sleeping. Hearing the wind howling outside. Kei wandered over to his window. He looked out on the empty street and saw the messy haired boy sitting on the curb.

 

Tapping on the window, he was curious as to who the boy was; he forgot to ask if Akiteru knew him. The teen turned his head and Kei waved.

 

The teen waved back.

 

\-------

 

“Hey.” Kei got separated from his older brother and he got distracted by the messy haired teen lazing around the other street, trying to hide in the dark. The teen flinched and turned to face the young blonde boy. “What’s your name? Where do you live? Do you know Akiteru?”

 

The messy haired teen looked a little frazzled, glancing every which way for a chance to escape, but Kei wasn’t going to let him go anywhere. They had moved into the light of a lamp post, standing nearly in the middle of the sidewalk but none of the children running by seemed to pay them any mind. “Okay, okay. Jeez, you’re persistent.” Kei pursed his lips; that wasn’t the answer he wanted. “Okay, kid, I get it.” The teen scratched the back of his head, looking around the small cul de sac. “I’m Kuroo. I live a few blocks away.” He paused and Kei wouldn’t stop staring. “I don’t know this ‘Akiteru’ you mentioned. Is he your friend?” Kei nodded.

 

“He’s my brother.” Kuroo whistled.

 

“Where is he now?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“You got a cute costume.”

 

“It’s not cute; Akiteru made it for me.”

 

“Does he have a matching set?” Tsukishima wrinkled his nose.

 

“No...he’s a raptor trainer.”

 

“Like the movie?”

 

“Yeah. Like the movie.” Kuroo laughed at that, and Tsukishima can’t tell if he’s making fun of it or just being amused. Either way, the blonde decided that he doesn’t dislike the sound of the messy haired teen’s voice. It’s kind of soft, like a voice that’s not completely audible, like Tsukishima has water in his ears. “Why aren’t you dressed up?” Kuroo looked down at himself, donned in a simple burgundy cotton tee, dark washed jeans and lace up boots that barely cover his ankles. Kuroo shrugged, but there’s a look in his eyes that the blonde catches for just a second, a secret the teen isn’t willing to divulge.

 

“No reason.” Kuroo put his hands behind his head, amber eyes studying the dinosaur-clad boy in front of him. “You should go find your raptor trainer.” Kuroo leaned over and peeked at the blonde’s bucket of candy. “And get some more candy too.” Tsukishima frowned, about to protest, but he heard a voice behind him calling him. Tsukishima whipped around and beamed at the sight of his older brother running towards him.

 

“Kei! There you are!” The older brother swooped his little brother into his arms, but Kei fidgeted in his grasp, complaining that he wasn’t a child anymore. “What’re you doing here all by yourself?” He asked, which had Kei turning back around to explain that he was talking to Kuroo, a messy haired teen who lived not too far away from here.

 

But Kuroo was gone, like he was never there to begin with. Tsukishima wondered how Kuroo managed to run away so quickly without Akiteru noticing.

 

\-------

 

Tsukishima doesn’t see Kuroo the day after Halloween. He looked up and down streets and asked random people if they had seen his messy haired friend.

 

But no one knew Kuroo, like the teen was just a whisper in the wind.

 

It bothered Tsukishima for a while, but when Christmas rolled around, all the blonde could think about was the smell of fresh snow piling on the front lawn and the bright festive lights decorating all of the houses on his street.

 

He wondered briefly if Kuroo could see the same sight, in awe by the bright lights and the twinkling stars that watched over them and seemed to know everything.

 

\------

 

Kuroo probably moved, is the reason Tsukishima comes up with. So he’s surprised to see the same teen stalking around the sidewalk the next year on Halloween looking completely the same as he had a year ago. The blonde ran out the door as soon as he spotted the other from his window and tackled the teen to the ground. “Woah, holy shit Tsukki. What the hell was that for?” Kuroo groaned, the sudden feeling of grass on his back making him feel just a little sick.

 

“I couldn’t find you. I thought you moved away.” Kuroo bit his lip and avoided eye contact and Tsukishima only stared harder, golden eyes trying to pierce the veil that Kuroo had crafted over himself. “Do you not like me?” The teen laughed.

 

“Of course I like you. You’re a weird dinosaur nerd who secretly loves strawberry shortcake despite how mean and grumpy he is on the outside.” Tsukishima’s eyes widened and his face turned the exact shade of a ripe strawberry. The blonde can’t come up with words, the sounds stuck in his throat, so he opts for shaking Kuroo by the collar of his shirt from embarrassment, as if the action would erase the secrets Kuroo had discovered.

 

There was something that nagged at Tsukishima about that, though. How did Kuroo know about his sweet tooth? And the dinosaurs he had displayed proudly on his shelf? But the thought had been quickly tucked away as Kuroo began tickling him, and the uncontrollable laughter he had been succumbed to took his breath away, like he was floating over the moon.

 

\------

 

“I’m going to leave for a while, Tsukki.” Kuroo had finally given the blonde time to breathe, and Tsukishima was grateful for each heavy gulp of oxygen into his lungs. The blonde played with his fingers, gazing up at the starry night sky.

 

“Where are you going?” Tsukishima waited for an answer but didn’t get one. “Will you come back?” Kuroo made a small noise in the back of his throat.

 

“Do you want me to?” Tsukishima bit his lip, face flush. He was glad Kuroo couldn’t see it.

 

“Maybe.”

 

“Then I’ll come back.” Kuroo raised his pinky finger over to Tsukishima, waiting expectantly like an obedient puppy waiting for a treat. The blonde stared at the finger presented for a while, wondering if maybe Kuroo could tell his face was bright red in the darkness before wrapping his own pinky around Kuroo’s sealing their promise.

 

\---------

 

Tsukishima counted each day until Kuroo returned. And after a while, he wondered if Kuroo wasn’t planning on returning, moving on to bigger and better things. But when Halloween rolled around and he saw Kuroo playing with rocks in his front yard, Tsukishima felt a huge swell of joy in his chest as well as an equal amount of unease.

 

“Kuroo.” The teen flinched at the stern tone of his name. “Why do you only come back on Halloween? Why are you never here any other day?” Tsukishima wasn’t going to leave without a proper answer and Kuroo knew he was going to have to confess tonight.

 

“I’m always here, Tsukki.” The blonde didn’t buy the half-assed answer. “I’m always here watching you, even though you can’t see me.” Tsukishima feels a chill run down his spine.

 

\--------

 

Tsukishima spends all of November 1st buried in the public library at school. His history teacher is thrilled that the blonde is taking extra care on researching Halloween, and taken interest in the legends of ghosts and the living dead. His teacher gave him a lot of good resources and books about the holiday, and he takes the books home with him and reads them under his covers until 5am when he passed out with Kuroo’s smile echoing in his dreams.

 

\-------

 

“Wow, Tsukki, you grew a lot.” Kuroo smiled, patting the blonde on the back. “You’re in high school now...you’re already taller than me! That’s not fair.” Tsukishima frowned, clemching his fists a little. Kuroo sighed; he knew he would have to tell the blonde eventually but he didn’t expect Tsukishima to find out on his own. “Are you mad at me?” Tsukishima flinched but didn’t answer; instead, he stared at the sidewalk beneath his feet.

 

He wasn’t mad, per se. But he didn’t like being lied to, being led on like this. Tsukishima had grown attatched to Kuroo, someone who could he could only see once a year, someone who barely even existed, or maybe just a big part of the blonde’s imagination. Kuroo was on his mind constantly despite only being around him for such little time. But it was the rest of the 364 days of not seeing or being with him that made Tsukishima’s attatchment only grow worse.

 

“How long have you been dead?” Tsukishima’s voice is small, quiet, and a little squeaky. He was afraid to speak for fear of yelling too much or not being able to speak at all because his chest ached every time he looked at the teen in front of him. Kuroo scratched the back of his head, not sure of how to answer before he took the blonde’s hand in his own and led him down the street. “Kuroo? What’re you…” But Tsukishima didn’t pester further, watching Kuroo’s back as they walked down the cul de sac and to a street the blonde had never been on before.

 

The hand holding his own was warm; how could someone who was no longer living feel so warm? It confused Tsukishima, made his blood boil, made his heart beat like a shoujo heroine, made his palms sweaty and his mind wander into fantasy land. It didn’t make sense; not at all. He just barely turned fifteen, a high school student, a little over six feet, just barely inches above Kuroo, yet for some reason he felt so small. The street was quiet save for the slight rustling of orange and red leaves, dancing around each other in a frenzied waltz before laying gently on the cold cement.

 

Tsukishima nearly bumped into Kuroo, not paying attention to where he was going and focusing on the hand that spread warmth through his body like a wildfire. He looked at Kuroo briefly, then followed his gaze to the dilapidated house at the end of a quiet and cold cul de sac. There had been a fire there, but it seemed like a long time ago. The blonde hadn’t remembered hearing about any recent fires, but the dark bones of the house was still there, being held up by nothing.

 

“This is...well, was...my home.” Kuroo’s hand in his hand grew even warmer, and then the realization hit Tsukishima like a storm. He felt bile creep up his throat, crouching down and hugging his knees. It felt like he could see the fire, hear the helpless screams as the flames charred their skin, burning through each layer slowly...Tsukishima couldn’t even imagine how it must have felt, to be in such a helpless state as flames consumed his body. He didn’t realize he was crying until he felt Kuroo’s fingers wipe away the tears on his cheeks. “Why are you crying? It happened years ago…”

 

“B-but…” Tsukishima heard his own voice crack and he winced. “It was painful, wasn’t it? Was your family here? Did you have siblings?” He didn’t want to ask any more questions; he was too afraid of the answers he was going to receive.

 

Kuroo smiled and helped him back up, taking the blonde’s hand in his own again. “I didn’t feel a thing.” He lied, rubbing each one of Tsukishima’s long fingers gently, trying to ease the tension out of them, hoping his actions would take all the sadness away. “I had a little brother and sister; I could hear them crying, but I was trapped in my room and I couldn’t go anywhere.” Kuroo smiled a little. “But, like I said, I didn’t feel anything.” Tsukishima gazed into his eyes, like he could see the flames in his glowing amber eyes. “They probably passed on painlessly too.”

 

He hoped Tsukishima couldn’t feel the lies in the shakiness in his hands. “Are they here?” Kuroo blinked. “Your siblings...your parents.” Kuroo smiled and shook his head, interlacing their fingers, glad that the blonde wasn’t crying anymore. “They passed on then…” Tsukishima tilted his head. “Why haven’t you? Moved on, I mean. Why are you still tied to the living when your whole family is already passed?”

 

Kuroo had asked himself that very questions many times, why he just couldn’t bring himself to let go, to see his little brother and sister, hear them call him “onii-chan” and climb on his shoulders and demand to be paraded around like royalty. He let out a deep sigh, let go of the blonde’s hands and looked back at his burnt house.

 

“I don’t know. But at that moment, when I realized I was dead, and I could feel the tug of the afterlife pulling me away from this place, I just couldn’t go along with it. I felt like, if I didn’t stick around, I’d be making the biggest mistake of my life. I guess I was just waiting for something to happen...for someone to happen.” Kuroo turned back around and smiled, trying to keep the sorrow that was welling up, threatening to spill from his eyes at the sight of the blonde, puffy red eyes, tear-stained cheeks, quivering lips...

 

“And maybe, just maybe, you were the one I was waiting for.”

 

\---------

 

Tsukishima watched from his window, on the very first minute of November 1st, and watched Kuroo fade away like dust, like he was never there to begin with. He grabbed onto his pillow and hugged it to his chest. Kuroo told him not to cry, not to worry so much about it. But he couldn’t help it; he sobbed into his pillow, glad that neither Akiteru nor his parents checked up on him that night. He wouldn’t know how to explain the immense sadness that he couldn’t hold back. He wouldn’t be able to explain why his pillows were wet and why his throat was so dry and aching.

 

He pressed his toes into the soft sheets, buried his face in a pillow, closed his eyes...Tsukishima pictured Kuroo there by his side, smiling and laughing, his sweet gentle voice breathing life back into the blonde. It eased his mind a little, to picture the messy haired teen by his side, imagined the warmth on his fingertips, the way Kuroo held his hand so gently.

 

Whether it was a dream, or if maybe Kuroo’s presence had lingered a little bit, but Tsukishima fell asleep to the soft fingers carding through his blonde locks, washing away the misery and sending shivers up Tsukishima’s spine, a smile on his face.

 

\---------

 

“I like you, Kuroo.” Tsukishima said aloud in his bedroom, pulling his knees to his chest. Kuroo had told him that he always hung around despite not being able to be seen by others. If he was there in his room or not, the blonde didn’t know. But he felt the need to say it anyway. “I really, really like you, Kuroo Tetsurou.” The blonde could feel his cheeks warm up at his own confession, and he buried his face into his pillow; it was weird to not know if Kuroo heard or not, but then he felt a cold shiver run up his spine, and he squeaked into the soft material.

 

“Not fair, Kuroo.” He mumbled into the pillow, wondering if Kuroo could hear that too.

 

\------

 

One of Kuroo’s favorite things was to watch Tsukishima sleep; it was the only time he didn’t put on a mask, no cold harsh glares to keep people out, no fake smiles to hide when he’s really hurting. His true nature was revealed when he’s sleeping. No one is around to see, so Tsukishima let his guard down, and his real emotions were there for Kuroo to read.

 

He hovers over the mattress, lying on his side as he watched the blonde breathe, slowly in and slowly out. It was difficult for him, to be able to see him, watch him grow into such a strong young man, into the greatest person he could possibly be, and yet no matter how hard he tried, he could never touch Tsukishima.

 

Kuroo reached a hand out, moving slowly through the moonlit room. He spread his fingers and closed his eyes, imagining touching the soft blonde locks, wondering what they would feel like, how Tsukishima would react. When he opened his eyes, he frowned, because his hand couldn’t reach Tsukishima; he could never reach him...no matter how hard he tried.

 

\-------

 

Tsukishima had a plan; if he could sleep all day on the 30th, and with enough energy drinks, he could be able to stay up for the entire duration of the 31st, the only day he was allowed to see Kuroo, to touch him, and to feel him. But he was also uneasy, because he had confessed a year ago, and he wasn’t entirely sure if Kuroo even heard him. What would Kuroo even say? Would he reject him? That seemed to be the most logical conclusion Tsukishima came up with; how could you even date someone who wasn’t even alive? And the blonde was not into necrophilia.

 

Eight o’clock rolled around and the energy drinks were only making him more sleep, giving him a sugar crash. He looked over at the clock and deemed that a little nap wouldn’t hurt. Tsukishima set his phone alarm for 11:45 so he could prepare for when Kuroo came into view. But maybe he wouldn’t even show up...maybe Kuroo got bored and won’t talk to him anymore.

 

He quickly pushed that thought away and pulled the warm comforter over himself with just his face above his chin poking out, resting on the fluffy pillow. Everything was so warm and so comfortable that it was so easy to just fall asleep. But he fell too deep into a sleep that he slept through his alarm and right up to midnight. Kuroo was hesitant; he didn’t want to wake the blonde up because he was probably so exhausted, but he wanted to be near the blonde nonetheless.

 

Kuroo gingerly lifted the cover and slid into the bed with the blonde; it had been a long time since he had ever felt the warmth of a soft mattress and an extra cozy comfortable that would even put Kuroo to sleep. So he didn’t blame Tsukishima for sleeping past midnight. It took Kuroo a long time to swallow his fears (a good two hours) before he pressed his chest up against Tsukishima’s back.

 

Tsukishima...had confessed...didn’t he? It wasn’t a figment of one of Kuroo’s wild imaginations that enabled him to conjure a memory of Tsukishima admitting his feelings for him. Well, the worst thing that could happen was for the blonde to kick him out of bed. But when Tsukishima unconsciously sunk into him, Kuroo knew he couldn’t hold back. He wrapped one arm around the other male’s waist, his other arm curled around the blonde’s head. Kuroo pressed his nose against Tsukishima’s, reveling in the fact that he could touch and feel and breath and smell the blonde right there in his arms like he was alive again.

 

He almost didn’t want Tsukishima to wake up; he wanted to hold him like this, a pure, sleeping Tsukishima, sleeping without a care in the world. He wanted happiness for Tsukishima, wanted it so much more than for himself. His dead heart was brought back to life every time he saw Tsukishima, every time he touched him...he wondered if Tsukishima’s kiss could bring him out of his misery, to let him stay with the blonde all 365 days of the year.

 

But Tsukishima did stir, sleeping noises echoing ever so slightly in the small, dark room. “Mmm.” The blonde hummed at the feeling of being surrounded by such a comfortable warmth. He almost couldn’t differentiate between the blanket and Kuroo until he felt the other male’s legs tangle with his own and the blonde froze. “Kuroo?” He asked hesitantly.

 

“Yeah.” They stayed silent for a while and Kuroo feared he had gone too far. “Do you want me to move? I’m sorry if you’re--”

 

“No.” Tsukishima said faster than he would have liked, which stunned Kuroo. “I mean...we can stay like this.” The blonde admitted, his mind slowly accepting the words as he spoke. “This...is nice.” Tsukishima relaxed against, molding his form to fit Kuroo’s, like he was the missing puzzle piece he had been looking for, waiting for his entire life.

 

Kuroo hummed in response, pressing his lips against Tsukishima’s lips. When he didn’t get any protest, he worked those kisses to his neck, moving slowly and softly. Tsukishima wasn’t sure if he was dreaming...it felt too real, to have Kuroo’s lips against his skin, to feel his arms around him like they were meant to be there… “Am I dreaming?” Tsukishima asked, wondering that he wouldn’t get the answer he wanted, worried that he would wake up and Kuroo wouldn’t be there.

 

“Nah. I’m right here, Tsukki. Always have been.” He cooed. The blonde rolled around so he could face Kuroo. He hoped the darkness could hide the redness on his cheeks, could hide how scared and how emotional Tsukishima actually was. He reached to touch Kuroo’s face, running his fingers along his brow, his forehead, his nose, his cheek, his jaw...everything felt so real. This could not be a dream. And when Kuroo smiled back at him, Tsukishima felt himself wiggle out from his shell, holding nothing back. He wanted Kuroo, and he hoped Kuroo wanted him too. “I like you, Tsukki.” Kuroo spoke softly, reaching for the blonde’s hand and intertwining their fingers; his unbeating heart seemed to soar when Tsukishima squeezed back.

 

“I like you too, Kuroo.” Tsukishima admitted, the moonlight unable to hide the blonde’s bright smile. “I really like you.” And hearing those words again, Kuroo felt like he was alive whenever Tsukishima was here, with him, by his side, and in his arms.

 

Kuroo confessed many times over the course of the night, pressing small kisses on his cheek, pressing their bodies up close as if separation would spell death for the both of them. And when Tsukishima had had enough, cupped the messy haired teen’s cheeks, stared into his eyes and silently begged for the real thing, Kuroo was happy to oblige, letting his eyelids flutter closed and pressed his slightly chapped lips against Tsukishima’s, and felt truly alive again.

 

\-------

 

Tsukishima returns home from school one night, plopping his backpack on the floor and rolling to his bed. It’s been four months since Halloween and he feels almost empty. He wraps the blankets around his torso, trying to imagine Kuroo pressing up against his back like he had done. “Tetsurou…” He whispers out, wondering if the male was in his room (which he probably was since Kuroo confessed to hanging out in Tsukishima’s room more often than not, which Tsukishima also surprisingly did not find creepy). If Tsukishima just pictured Kuroo in the room with him, it put his mind at ease.

 

“I miss you.” Tsukishima says softly, but he knows Kuroo can hear him. “I wish you could be here all the time…” The blonde smiles and rolls onto his back, smiling up at the ceiling. “But, I have to thank you, Kuroo. The 24 hour date we had...it’s enough for me to picture your arms around me, your sweet kisses on my skin...I can imagine it all like it happened yesterday.” Tsukishima covers his face with his pillow a little because he’s a bit embarrassed to be admitting such a thing. “And as each day passes, I get more and more excited because I know the next time I can see you, I can feel that it will be better than the last.”

 

Tsukishima rolls onto his back and inhales the cotton of his pillow. He hadn’t washed it since, which was a little gross. He’d use water to clean it if it got too dirty, but he felt like if he cleaned it, Kuroo’s scent would be gone. And despite being a ghost, Kuroo’s scent is still there, lingering on his pillow like a memory, a reminder that his feelings for Kuroo are real and not a dream.

 

Meanwhile, Kuroo can’t contain his excitement. His boyfriend…(Kuroo sometimes had to slap himself in the face for being able to call Tsukishima like that felt too unreal) was way too adorable and sweet for his own good. The way he spoke with such an earnest smile, with a tone of voice he is sure no one else has ever heard before (Kuroo watched Tsukishima at school one day and was very surprised to see the asshole attitude he had talked about having; Kuroo didn’t believe the cute blonde could ever be so mean, but he was so wrong).

 

This side of Tsukishima was meant just for Kuroo; just for him, his own little slice of paradise.

 

Kuroo wished Halloween would come even sooner.

 

\--------

 

“You’re graduating.” Kuroo says, his back leaning against the bedframe, Tsukishima fitting in between his legs, laying his own back against Kuroo’s warm chest. The blonde hums in acknowledgement, eyes closed and too tired to speak much or move from his very comfortable position in Kuroo’s arms. “You’re older than me...well, not technically. But still…” Kuroo whines, nuzzling his nose in the other’s neck, inhaling the sweet scent before pressing slow, lazy kisses on pale, unmarked skin.

 

Tsukishima doesn’t want to think about it, but he is graduating at the end of the year. He’s getting older than Kuroo, surpassing him in height and age each year (Kuroo’s pride is very wounded that his cute boyfriend is taller than him). And if they keep this up, Tsukishima will age and grow old and Kuroo will not change, staying a ghost, still only being able to see each other one day a year. But that part doesn’t bother him; he just fears Kuroo will move on before he knows it and Kuroo would be gone forever…

 

“Say, Kei.” Tsukishima hums at the sound of his name. “Do you have anyone you like?” Tsukishima turns around, a face that spells “is that a serious question?” But Kuroo is very serious. “I love you, Kei. I really, really do…” Tsukishima recognizes that tone of voice; it’s the same voice when Kuroo had described to him years ago how he and his family died. Tsukishima doesn’t like where this conversation is headed. “But...dating me...is unrealistic.”

 

“Tetsu, please, don’t do this…”

 

“But I have to!” Kuroo cries softly, careful not to raise his voice as he holds the blonde’s waist tighter. “You have to move on...I have to move on. I can’t make you suffer each year, waiting to see me for just 24 hours.” Kuroo tries to hide the fact that he’s crying, but Tsukishima could probably feel his body shaking against him. “I can’t cook for you, I can’t touch you, kiss you, provide for you...I can’t do anything for you.” Kuroo presses a small kiss on the blonde’s shoulder. “You deserve so much more, Kei. So much more than I can give.”

 

“I don’t care Tetsu. I don’t fucking care that I have to wait 364 days for you to be able to kiss me and hold me and tell me you love me…” Tsukishima can feel the tears starting to prick the corners of his eyes and this was not the conversation he’d been hoping for. “Six years, Kuroo. We met on this day six years ago. I’ve gone six years with the waiting game. And yes, it would be nice to be able to kiss you every single day. But I can’t. And I’ve already come to terms with that fact. Because every Halloween, these small 24 hours that I get to spend with you, they mean more to me than anything in this world.”

 

Tsukishima turns around and cups the other male’s face. “So don’t you dare say that you can’t do anything for me. Don’t you dare say that I deserve something more.” He hates crying...especially on a day that is so important to him. “Please...don’t push me away. I need you. Even if you can only see me once a year, I need you.” Tsukishima wiped his eyes hurriedly, sniffling as he tried to calm himself down. “Don’t make me cry on the most important day of my life.” Kuroo’s face was blank, so the blonde leaned in to kiss the other, to make all of the negative thoughts disappear, because all he wanted to do on this day was kiss his boyfriend until his lips were sore and be held in those arms until the clock struck midnight.

 

Kuroo had snapped out of it, Tsukishima’s words still echoing in his mind. All he wants is for Tsukishima to be happy; that’s the only reason for his existence. And if Tsukishima is happy the way they are, then...he’s happy with it too. Kuroo moves his hands to squeeze the blonde’s waist, enjoying the small whimpers coming from his boyfriend’s mouth as they kiss. “I’m so sorry, Kei.” Kuroo says between kisses. “I’m so sorry...I love you...I love you, Kei. I love you.”

 

Tsukishima forgives him in a heartbeat, settling comfortably in the other male’s lap. “It’s okay, Tetsu. I love you too.”

 

\----------

 

Tsukishima is twenty when he feels extremely content with his life. He has a nice studio apartment in a hi-rise in Tokyo, Yamaguchi lives just across the hall from him. Akiteru visits on occasion and always sends him care packages filled with home-baked cookies from his brother and lots of condoms and lube from Saeko. He even received a New Year’s card from Ryuu (having Ryuunosuke as a brother in law is really strange at times, but it’s not all that bad). Even with his mother passing away not too long ago, and even though he misses her to pieces, the family he has now is just as good.

 

Life is good, he thinks. Halloween is just five months away; he’d be able to see Kuroo again, feel the warmth of his embrace and kiss him into the night. Slipping on a warm jacket, Tsukishima heads out of his apartment to go to the convenience store to grab dinner. He isn’t the best cook, so he relies on pre-made bentos and going out to eat. And sometimes Yamaguchi would come over and cook four course dinners to keep the blonde male eating healthy.

 

With Kuroo in his thoughts, he pulls his scarf over his mouth to hide the smile on his face Just five more months. He thinks, not perturbed at all that Kuroo’s physical form was now three years younger than him, but he sometimes poked fun of that fact that Kuroo was an old man having died thirty years ago. Tsukishima heads into a busy intersection, headphones over his ears, his music that he picked out with Kuroo drowning out the world around him, drowning out the screeching of tires, the sound of screams around him, the sound of his own body breaking.

 

Tsukishima feels himself being launched further into the intersection before landing back on the cold, hard pavement. It doesn’t register to his mind yet that he had been hit by a car only moments later. His vision is blurry and the voices that echoed around him seemed to fade. The blonde sits up only to realize he was not in his body; it felt like he was looking down at his own mangled limbs from up above, like he was hovering. He sees people rush to his body, giving him CPR, trying to keep him alive.

 

There are warm arms around his shoulders that feel just like Kuroo’s. It’s the middle of May, so there’s no way for Kuroo to be here unless he was dreaming, or…

 

“Kei…” Kuroo’s voice sounds like his entire world is crumbling in front of him. “Oh no, Kei. Oh please no, you can’t be here. You have to go back.” Kuroo picks his ethereal body up and carries him back to the blonde’s bloody body. He tries pushing Tsukishima back in, getting him back where belonged, in the world of the living. “You have Yamaguchi, and your brother and his wife...you have an entire career in front of you, a future spot on the national team...you can’t end it like this.” The sound of sirens seems so far away even though Tsukishima can see the ambulance approaching even closer.

 

Tsukishima can hear Kuroo crying, and it’s devastating; but looking back at his body, limbs bent where they shouldn’t, glasses broken and lying feet away, ribs cracked and caved inwards...there’s no way he can go back now. And Tsukishima can feel a different kind of pain, not a physical one. He can imagine Yamaguchi’s pained face, see his brother’s tears...even Ryuunosuke might even cry despite his personality. And the blonde wants it back so much that he’s trying to somehow claw his way back to the world of the living, but as each second goes on, and as each of his tears roll off his cheek and disappear into nothingness, he knows it’s too late.

 

Kuroo, realizing this too, whisks them away to the blonde’s apartment and falls back on his bed. Tsukishima curls into the other, sobbing into Kuroo’s shirt. It’s a strange sensation for Kuroo; he wants the blonde to have a good life, to live to be an old man and live carefree. But the tragic accident brought them together, a wish both of them have secretly wanted...but neither of them wanted it to happen like this. Now Tsukishima had lost his best friend and his family in a single instance.

 

And as Tsukishima sobbed for the rest of the night, Kuroo held him tightly, wiping all the tears that rolled down his cheeks and stained the soft cotton of his shirt.

 

\----------

 

Yamaguchi and Akiteru have known about Kuroo, so the idea that they could meet Tsukishima again was something not too farfetched. They had discussed this in June, just a month after the blonde’s death. If Kuroo could appear on Halloween, then Tsukishima could too. Saeko and Ryuu wanted to tag along too, overhearing their conversation and begging to see the blonde boy again. They had all sat down to prepare a large feast of Tsukishima’s favorites: a whole roasted chicken, plenty of yams and corn salad, and of course, two entire three-layer cakes full of vanilla frosting and strawberries decorated all over the front.

 

“Hey, can we eat all this? I’d be really upset if they made all that food for me and I couldn’t even eat a single bite.” Kuroo laughs, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend as they watch Tsukishima’s family prepare for dinner.

 

“Yeah, you can eat...but I would suggest not eating too much or you’ll end up being sick.” Kuroo smiles. “I wouldn’t eat the entire cake even though I know you want too.” Tsukishima pouts; he’s not that childish. He can refrain from eating the entire cake...but there were two…

 

Watching his entire family still have hope in their eyes, still with all their smiles and the warmth of their love that Tsukishima could feel even from being in a different realm, it nearly brings him to tears. But Tsukishima had promised himself that he wouldn’t cry, for his family’s sake; he had already done enough of that before, and he doesn’t want anyone else to cry either.

 

When the clock strikes midnight, Tsukishima’s family is tense, hoping and praying that they could see Tsukishima for one day. A shiny veil appears before Kuroo and Tsukishima, and they hold hands. “I always thought you just magically appeared...I never knew there was a door like this.” Kuroo smiles and kisses his cheek. “That makes sense now.”

 

“Mmm. Go ahead, Kei. I’ll be right behind you.” The blonde nods, takes a deep breath before stepping through the veil, Kuroo not far behind. His entire family, Yamaguchi included, can feel his presence when he steps into the room and it takes merely a second before he’s pummeled to the floor by people that he cares about the most. Akiteru and Yamaguchi are sobbing uncontrollably, and even the Tanaka siblings are crying too.

 

It’s strange how detached he feels from the rest of the world, but the embraces and cries from his family pull him back together. “Ow, you guys are heavy. Did you all put on some weight?” Ryuu knocks him on the head for that. Eventually they all manage to climb off of the blonde and each take turns hugging Tsukishima. “I’m...so sorry.” He blurts in the middle of Saeko’s turn to hug and she slaps him lightly for it.

 

“Hey, Kei, don’t say that. It wasn’t your fault.” She smiles and kisses his cheek, leaving a bright red kiss mark there. Ryuu and Yamaguchi giggle at it; even Kuroo thinks it’s cute. Akiteru is the only one who’s embarrassed. “You jealous of your little bro, Aki?” Saeko laughs, the sound of it warming Tsukishima’s heart. “It’s okay, I can leave more kisses on you later.” This makes Akiteru’s face turn the color of Saeko’s lipstick, and he then convinces everyone around to sit down at the dinner table.

 

Akiteru sits next to Kuroo, and the messy haired teen isn’t sure if the older Tsukishima approves of him yet. They had met once in a slightly similar situation, but now that Tsukishima is no longer with them, Kuroo wonders of Akiteru likes him, tolerates him, or just plain hates him. “I don’t hate you.” Akiteru says out of the blue, keeping his voice down as to not alert everyone else of their conversation. “I’m thankful for you, despite my instincts. Kei had changed because of you, and for the better.” The blonde folds his hand together in his lap, looking at the table in front of him. “Thank you...for making Kei happy.”

 

Kuroo smiles; thinking about his own siblings, he’d probably have the same gut reaction to murder whoever dared to come close and try and date one of his siblings. “I had a little brother and sister; they were ten years old...I couldn’t even imagine them being taken away by someone I didn’t know that well.” Kuroo fidgets in his seat, reaching for a piece of chicken and a single yam to put on his plate. He wants to know what the food tastes like, how much love and care had been put into it by people who love Tsukishima as much as he does. “I promise I’ll take care of Kei; I’ll keep him just as happy as he is with you all.”

 

Akiteru nods in silence, watching in awe at the scene before him. He did not want to think about the fact that this would be his last dinner with his little brother, his last time he’d get to see his rare and sparkling smile. “Wow, congratulations, Nee-san! Nii-san!” He whips his head at the sound of the blonde’s voice, watching Saeko cover her stomach with one of her hands with a fond look on her face. Akiteru smiles back.

 

“I’m 3 months in; the little girl should be born in March.” Saeko says proudly as Ryuu stands up in a rush.

 

“But wait, it could be a boy! Oooh, I can’t wait, Nee-san!” Ryuu cheers, already moving to strip his shirt and yell to the heavens over such a joyous announcement. “I have to call Noya!” And Ryuu is gone, hollering down the hall to make a phone call that could probably be heard by all of the neighbors.

 

Tsukishima hugs his brother and new sister, wishing her good luck and for a happy, healthy baby. As dinner dies down and Tsukishima is filled with love and strawberry shortcake, Kuroo can tell he’s tired and offers to help clean up so everyone else could sleep. Akiteru was against sleeping, but when he saw how sleepy everyone else was despite being prepared to stay up late, he ushered everyone into separate rooms. Ryuu and Yamaguchi take the couch in the living room, Akiteru and Saeko have their own bedroom, and Akiteru begrudgingly allows Kuroo and Tsukishima to sleep in the guest bedroom together.

 

“If I detect any risky business, I am kicking Kuroo out.” Tsukishima whines, but Kuroo is fine with the conditions. It would feel weird to make love to the blonde with his older brother not too far away. Tsukishima leans down to whisper in Kuroo’s ears.

 

“He said nothing about kissing, right? I don’t think I could go a night without kissing you.” Kuroo’s face turns bright red and Akiteru is about to call out the foul play, but Tsukishima and Saeko convince Akiteru to go to sleep and worry about kicking Kuroo out in the morning. “You’re sounding just like mom, Nii-san.” Tsukishima smiles. “Besides, I’m not a kid anymore. I can handle an untamed cat on my own.” He hugs his elder brother good night before skipping off into the guest room, stripping down into his boxers and snuggling up against the already half-naked Kuroo. “I can’t believe I can have one final day with Akiteru...and Yamaguchi.”

 

Kuroo gives a laugh, covering the two of them in blankets and holding the blonde securely against his body with one arm. “They mean a lot to you, don’t they?” Tsukishima doesn’t speak, but he nods, slowly yawning before settling even closer to his boyfriend. “I’ll probably kick back here with Tanaka while the rest of you go out and have your family time. I don’t really want to interrupt that.” Tsukishima is about to protest but Kuroo cuts him off. “You can have me all the time after today; spend this time with the people you won’t be seeing for a very long time.”

 

Tsukishima goes silent after that, the realization that he wouldn’t be able to see his brother or Yamaguchi until either of them died. It hurt, but he had already cried and wallowed in misery; he couldn’t be sad anymore. “I’m gonna miss them.” Kuroo smiles.

 

“I know.” Tsukishima gives a final hefty sigh before falling into a deep sleep, his chest rising and falling evenly. “Stay strong, because you will see them again. And I’m sure they’d want to see your bright smile when the move on.” The blonde smiles in his sleep.

 

\---------

 

“Nii-san, you can’t cry. You did plenty of it at the actual funeral.” Tsukishima chides the elder, but still embraces him, hoping to never lose the feeling of his brother’s warmth. If Akiteru kept on crying like this, there was no way the blonde could move forward. “We had an entire day filled with my favorite things...wasn’t that enough?” Akiteru sobs even more.

 

“No, it wasn’t! I change my mind...please don’t leave me, Kei.” Even Saeko isn’t sure on how to handle her husband; usually she’d let him cry it out on her chest until he got over it and his mood changed to other things...but this kind of sadness is something he had never experienced before.

 

“Akki, it’s okay.” Yamaguchi smiles at the elder Tsukishima, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Tsukki is going somewhere where he can be happy. And we can’t change that no matter how hard we try.” Yamaguchi smiles, and it temporarily stops his ugly crying. “And besides...you have a family of your own you’re going to be starting soon with Saeko nee-san.” Tsukishima gapes for a second at his best friend before laughing.

 

“Yamaguchi, when did you become such a cool guy?” Tsukishima remarks with a smirk on his lips. Yamaguchi returns the gesture with a smile, looking down at his shoes to hide his embarrassment.

 

“Since I met you, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi looks over at Kuroo who has his arms folded over his chest, but with a fond expression on his lips. “Take care of him, okay, Kuroo-san?” The freckled male smiles, using every fiber of his being to keep from crying in front of his best friend. He just didn’t want Tsukishima to have any regrets; he hoped Tsukishima would leave seeing faces of everyone he loved with smiles, not tears. And Akiteru was not helping in the slightest. The blonde peeled himself away from the crying Akiteru, slowly stepping back until he was by Kuroo’s side.

 

Akiteru gave an approving nod even though his eyes were red and full of tears and his hands trembled like he couldn’t survive without his little brother around. “If you hurt him, I’m going to come up there and kill you myself.” Kuroo laughs; he knows the insult comes with good intentions. He doesn’t blame Akiteru at all; he would probably act the same if it were his own siblings.

 

“Sure thing, Onii-san.” Kuroo bows formally before taking Tsukishima’s hand in his own. The blonde takes one more look around the room, watching a smiling and proud Yamaguchi, a Saeko who has miniscule tears, and Akiteru and Ryuu covered in snot and messy tears. It’s a pitiable sight, but Tsukishima thinks that the family before him, his family...it felt like home.

 

“Pathetic.” Tsukishima snorts before he turns around and steps over the veil with Kuroo just as the clock strikes midnight on November 1st.

 

“Kei!” He hears, turning around at the sound of his voice. Akiteru waves at him, a sobbing mess even though he can no longer see his little brother anymore.

 

Tsukishima waves back.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you thought!


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